Your Therapist: Legit or Charlatan? ~ Tu Terapeuta: Legítima o Charlatán?

How to Know Your Therapist is More Interested in Your Money than Your Healing

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Most healers and therapists come to their work because they felt a calling to help people, and often feel a particular affinity with their chosen mode of healing. Those healers usually choose a healthy lifestyle for themselves, have legitimate training, participate in ongoing professional development, are part of a healing community, and generally walk the walk rather than just talk the talk. Unfortunately, there are some who are in it just for the money, taking advantage of trends and trying to make easy money without any legitimate study. Based on some recent experiences of my own clients, past experiences of my own, and inspired by a recent post by a colleague, I have written this to help people know when their therapist is taking advantage of them, or is just a plain old charlatan.

Here are three basic signs that your therapist is not working for your best interest but rather for their own:

1) They tell you exactly how many sessions you need, often insisting on an intense schedule of appointments, and pressure you, sometimes even with guilt, to attend more and more sessions. For example, saying things like “Well, it’s your decision, but I can’t help you if you don’t want to get better.” This is passive aggressive manipulation, and even more despicable when dealing with clients who are desperate for healing and easily influenced. 

2) They tell you that you can’t see other therapists while you are in a treatment process with them, saying things like it will destroy any progress you make. This is a sure sign that the therapist values money over your healing, but can also mean that they are not actually qualified or good at what they do, and are afraid you will realize it when you seek treatment from other therapists.

3) They pressure you into buying other products that they offer, rather than just letting you know what is available and recommended for your treatment.

A true healer, who is interested in your wellbeing, will offer their services gently, without pressure or conditions. They will let you know they are available, and let you to come to them. They will guide you on the path to healing, and work to help you heal yourself and be independent with time. Above all, they respect the decisions of the client. If a client doesn’t want to continue their treatments, that is the client’s choice. There is nothing wrong with trying different therapists to find the most comfortable fit for you.

Como Saber que tu Terapeuta Tiene más Interese en tu Dinero que tu Sanación

Lo mayoría de las terapeutas viene a su papel porque se sienten la llamada a ayudar a la gente. Esas terapeutas usualmente eligen un estilo de vida sano, tiene capacitaciones legítimas, están involucradas en desarrollo profesional y la comunidad de sus colegas, y por lo general practican lo que enseñan. Lastimosamente, hay algunas que están buscando solo dinero, aprovechando de la moda e intentando ganar plata fácilmente sin preparación legitima. 

Basado en las experiencias recién de mis clientes, mis propias experiencias pasadas, y inspirado por un aviso publico de una colega, he escrito este guía para ayudar la gente saber cuando su terapeuta está aprovechando, o simplemente es una charlatán. 

Aquí hay tres señales que tu terapeuta no está trabajando por tu bienestar sino por lo suyo:

      1) Te dice exactamente cuántas sesiones necesitas, insistiendo que sigues con una programa intensiva de muchas citas, y te presiona, a veces con intención hacer te sentir culpable, que tienes mas y mas sesiones. Por ejemplo, se dice “Bueno, es tu decisión, pero no quieres mejorar?” Esto es manipulación, y es aun más inaceptable cuando el cliente está desesperado por sanación y así más fácil manipular.

      2) Te dice que no debes tener terapias con ningún otro terapeuta mientras estas en el proceso de sanación con él, diciendo que se puede dañar tu progreso si tienes terapias con otras terapeutas.  Esto es una señal seguramente que la terapeuta vale tu dinero más que tu sanación, pero también puede ser una señal que no es verdad una terapeuta calificada y/o que no hace bien su trabajo, así se tiene miedo que lo sepas si tienes tratamiento con otra terapeuta.

      3) Te presiona a comprar otros productos que se vende, sino simplemente avisarte que es disponible e recomendable por tu tratamiento.

Una sanadora verdad, quien tiene interese en tu bienestar, se ofrece sus servicios en una manera suave, sin presión ni condiciones. Te avisa que está disponible, y te deja venir a su tiempo y manera. Te guía en el camino de sanación, y trabaja en ayudarte sanar a ti mismo y ser independiente con tiempo.  Sobre todo, una buena sanadora se respeta las decisiones del cliente. Si el cliente ya no quiere tratamiento, es la decisión del cliente.  No hay ningún problema probar algunas terapeutas para averiguar con cual te sientes lo mas cómodo. 

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Personal thoughts on Ahimsa: What comes around, goes around, or does it? Stopping the cycle of anger.

Little by little, I am coming back to myself, and part of that is starting to write again. Today, thanks to my friend Leslie who shared Pema Chodron's writing below, I was inspired to write a short, personal piece about Ahimsa on the La Sirena facebook page. Here it is below, edited and embellished a bit. I welcome comments and conversation.

Pema Chodron's Heart Advice November 13, 2013

ANY ENCOUNTER OFFERS US A CHOICE

This is an idea that seems difficult for Westerners to accept: when someone harms us, they create the cause of their own suffering. They do this by strengthening habits that imprison them in a cycle of pain and confusion. It’s not that we are responsible for what someone else does, and certainly not that we should feel guilty. But when they harm us, we unintentionally become the means of their undoing. Had they looked on us with loving-kindness, however, we’d be the cause of their gathering virtue.

What I find helpful in this teaching is that what’s true for them is also true for me. The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. We can widen the gap between ourselves and others or lessen it.
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This is part of Ahimsa: non harming, through action, word or thought. When we harm others, we harm ourselves, even if it's just a nasty thought. The challenge is to maintain understanding and empathy for those who harm us repeatedly, who are relentless in their attacks. I know from my personal experience that when I get pushed to the limit and switch back to anger and resentment, even though someone is unjustly and purposely causing harm, thinking harmful thoughts about that person does more damage to me than to them because I get caught in a negative spiral of hate and anger that ends up engulfing everything, and leads to me acting out in anger, even towards total strangers. The result is always bad for me, but not for the person I am thinking angry thoughts about. However, when I think of that person harming me with compassion instead of anger, understanding why they are hurt and lashing out, I become enveloped in a bubble of love and joy, and my energy is focused on helping them to heal, even if just in my mind. Those positive thoughts and feelings flow out into my life and have a positive effect on me and all those I come in contact with, and it is my glowing smile that becomes contagious instead of anger and harm.
~ La Sirena 

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